Near Impossible “Would You Rather” Questions

February 5, 2017
By Jose

Should you’ve ever been on a very long road trip or invited to a slumber party or spent a year as an eighth grader, you’ve likely played “Would You Rather.”

The rules are very simple and universally known. But on the off-chance you are seeing us from outer space, here’s how the “Would You Rather” game functions: You begin by introducing a dilemma of two equally dreadful-appearing (or occasionally equally enticing alternatives to the other player.

You then smirk as the other player wrestles with such an impossible scenario. As soon as they pick what they consider to be the less awful of two atrocious situations, it is their turn to come up with a dilemma for you.

The game is a regular section on the Comedy Hit! Hit! podcast. Celeb guests including Ice-T and Bernie Sanders are asked by host Scott Aukerman to pick what they believe to be the finest of two horrific scenarios. The questions are nutty and dreadful: “Would you rather eat an entire Christmas tree, or have all of your children have Jim Carrey’s face from The Grinch tattooed on their chests?” is one question Aukerman modeled to comic Patton Oswalt.

The beauty of “Would You Rather” is its simplicity. The game needs no advance knowledge and no abilities outside a little imagination. But it is just as interesting as the folks you play with. There’s no denying that the more absurd and sometimes Xrated “Would You Rather” gets, the more enjoyable it becomes.

For a little bit of inspiration, below are some uncomfortable suggestions compiled from Reddit, either.io, and our sick, sick imaginations.

Near Impossible “Would You Rather” Questions

Would you rather develop pounds or be banned from the net for a month?

Would you rather an unrecognizable child photo of you be the subject of a vicious internet meme (i.e. Ermahgerd Girl that lasts for years, or be the laughingstock of Twitter for a day?

Would you rather accidentally “enjoy” a two-year-old photo of your significant other’s ex whom you were in the middle of Facebook stalking, or accidentally send a sext to your mother?

Would you rather have to read every word of the “terms and conditions” when you are prompted to, or have to ask your parents for permission every time you have sex?

Would you rather be a millionaire or live in the world of Harry Potter?

Would you rather live in the world of Star Wars or treat a rare kind of cancer?

Would you rather be allergic to chocolate or allergic to smartphones?

Would you rather have your Seamless account hacked and all the details made public, or have all your files and folders filled with porn?

Would you rather play Pokmon Go in real life or The Last Guardian in real life?

Would you rather have your Netflix viewing history made public or your Spotify listening history made public?

Would you rather be in a real life version of The Walking Dead or a real life version of Game of Thrones?

Would you rather be permanently banned from Tinder or be permanently banned from all grocery stores within a -mile radius of where you reside?

Would you rather have a hacker swoop in and publicize all the selfies you’ve taken in the past year (without filters or have your private e-mail hacked?

Would you rather lose the capacity to vote in elections or the ability to say anything on social media (including commenting on people’s Facebook posts or liking their photos on Instagram?

Would you rather have the ability to find out why someone you are dating ghosts on you or the ability to see genuine ghosts?

Would you rather lose every one of the photos you’ve taken on your own smartphone this year or lose every one of the books you have?

Would you rather attain buddies in real life or , followers on Twitter?

Would you rather be catfished or the victim of identify theft?

Would you rather lose access to a smartphone for a year and get a percentage raise on the job or retain your smartphone and also the same salary?

Would you rather be able to pick the person who becomes the following President of the United States or the man who directs Star Wars: Episode X?

Would you rather be made to drink only pumpkin spice lattes and no other coffee for the remainder of your life or just LaCroix for the remainder of your life?

Would you rather be made to host a huge dinner party and invite everyone you left-swiped on Tinder or have brunch with the last person who called you out on Twitter?

Would you rather lose your ability to text or lose your capability to give a high five?

Would you rather sound like Jar-Jar Binks for the remainder of your life or Siri?

Would you rather lose the ability to make use of GPS for the remainder of your life or lose the capacity to use a debit or credit card?

Would you rather don only Sailor Moon outfits for the remainder of your life or dress such as the cast of Hamilton for the remainder of your life?

Would you rather have the ability to see every text that was not sent to you or the skill to see every text that is about you?

Would you rather have naked photos of you leaked on the net but not seen by anyone you know or inadvertently moon everyone at work during an important meeting?

Would you rather be made to speak like Donald Trump’s Twitter feed for a year or bingewatch every single episode of The Apprentice?

Would you rather have eyes that can film everything or ears that may record everything?

Would you rather be doxed by Anonymous or have your advice leaked in a health insurance provider hack?

Would you rather have Reddit take up percentage of your day or gag take up percentage of your day?

Would you rather have Trump win the presidential election or have the voice in your head sound like Trump for the remainder of your life?

Would you rather eat the Twitter fowl or the World Wildlife Fund panda?

Would you rather constantly get stuck in traffic or constantly have a really slow internet connection?

Would you rather get chosen for the Hunger Games or the Triwizard Tournament?

Would you rather get trolled on Twitter by hundreds or get called an offensive name on the road by a stranger?

Would you rather read everything that Kim Kardashian has ever tweeted or be compelled to just use Kimoji for the remainder of your life?

Would you rather be made to see your buddies just once a month or lose Twitter followers every month?

Would you rather have infinite storage space in your iPhone or endless storage space in real-life?

Would you rather live out the Zola tweet rage in real life or be made to follow DJ Khaled’s guidance for a month?

Would you rather have Google search results for your name confused with a condemned killer or a famous pornstar?

Would you rather give the remainder of the net control over your Twitter account or give your mother control over your Tinder account?

Would you rather be a extremely successful YouTube star who is inadvertently embraced by chan or a uploader everyone honors but no one watches?

Would you rather have the aptitude teleport every time you fart or cure any wound by screaming at it?

Would you rather have every Tinder match have the ability to read your other messages or never have the capacity to use computers or smartphones for dating again?

Would you rather be able to speak to your pet or to people that are dead via Facebook messenger?

Would you rather take a glance at your Mother or your Dad’s net history?

Would you rather have man birth control or six weeks of maternity leave for each and every woman?

Would you rather have dogs or cats permanently banned from your Instagram web feed?

Would you rather sucker punch a Nazi or get into a televised debate with a Nazi asserting against their points?

Would you rather have a chilly three months out of the year or need to see a doctor to get viral marketing from your head?

Would you rather consistently use LOL-speak in real life, even at funerals, or just communicate via a string of emoji that pop up over your head?

Would you rather be a loser on The Bachelor or a winner on Jeff Foxworthy’s American Bible Challenge?

Would you rather have your most embarrassing moment captured in a GIF that goes viral or face your biggest fear?

Would you rather never need to upgrade your computer or never need to upgrade your smartphone?

Would you rather have Batman’s abilities, cash, gear, and lifestyle or ending crime around the world for good but be poor and unnoticed?

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